Sequence (an addendum to "Spare Parts")

Good morning. E-mail. Delete. I feel terrible. Coffee. E-mail. Respond. I'm probably dying faster than I care to admit. Stop it. Don't forget to smile. Funny comment. What was I doing? Forgot to send that response. New e-mail. Forgot to make coffee. Why am I sick again? I wish dad wouldn't worry so much. What did we do this weekend? Smile. Oh, right... we had dinner with friends on. Friday? Saturday? Saturday. Answer phone. Be jovial. Was great chatting. Goodbye. Where is my appointment tomorrow? Right. Down and around the way and not downtown. Crap--I keep forgetting to get my coffee. E-mail. Never mind. Coffee first. My bones hurt. Why can't I stop thinking about dying? I'm not dying right now! Thank you, cup of coffee. I wonder if this is what made me sick--if something I am eating or drinking is what made me sick. Again. Should I stop drinking that? The phone again. Funny interaction. Thank you for calling. Who was that on the phone? I knew just a second ago. It doesn't matter... there was no follow-up needed. Lou. Will Lou be okay after I'm gone? E-mail. Good morning! Forgot to put my lunch in the fridge. I will have to remember to do that. Start this week's order of service. Wait. No. What? I forgot to what? Dammit. Why can't I remember anything anymore? I'm sorry. Why do I feel like I'm always apologising for things? This will get easier someday. Why didn't the stem cell transplant last longer? No guarantee. That's life. Wait, I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting to do something right now. What? Man, my bones really hurt. I need to focus. Why can't I focus? I'm probably screwing something up right now. I'll probably have to apologise for that as well at some point. This isn't how I thought today was going to go. I already forgot to put my lunch in the fridge again. I'm just going to do that right now. I can't stop thinking about being sick. Smile. Be funny. It's going to be okay. Hopefully I didn't screw something else up in the last couple minutes. I really should stop thinking about being sick. I've only been at work for 20 minutes. This is going to be another long day.