Numbers! Numbers! Numbers! And why I don't stress out about them.

I don't want this to sound like I'm in denial or that I think people are crazy for obsessing over the numbers in their blood work, but oh my God... if I have to spend another support meeting listening to people comparing their M-spike and whatever else to another person's I'm going to lose my mind!

Okay, now that you've allowed me the grace to rant for a moment, I want to talk about this. About all these numbers and why I couldn't possibly spend more than the amount of time I'm in the office with my hematologist/oncologist worrying about them. I don't know about you, but I don't have a medical degree. I also don't have a treatment protocol that I've prescribed for myself. That's because of the first thing I mentioned. I guess I don't spend a lot of time worrying about these numbers when I get my blood results back because I don't know everything there is to know about them. I guess I know that certain numbers should read at a certain level, but over the last few years, I've also learnt that sometimes I get a false reading or that a change doesn't really mean anything bad--that it just indicates a change. 

Last year, I had some numbers that seemed to be trending one way or another and it was my doctor who made the call as to whether or not we should be concerned. Now, what I did (if you go back to my relapsing) was that I paid attention to either not feeling right or feeling a change in pain or limited motion. These things I could report and have the doctor follow up on. The funny thing about coming out of remission is that none of my numbers indicated a damn thing!

Now, I love the folks in my monthly support group, but there are a few people who go on and on about numbers and asking others about their numbers. They then proceed to freak out about their numbers if someone else has "better" numbers or they cause alarm if they think the other person's numbers are somehow worse. One lady in the group--let's call her "Lisa" has the same hematologist/oncologist as I do. I know full well that if Lisa expressed concern to our doctor, he would be very thorough in following up on these issues. If he saw something alarming in her numbers, he would order another test or follow-up tests that would explore the issue further. If he hasn't, then don't worry about the numbers!

The reason I say that may lie in the whole idea that "ignorance is bliss". I dunno... In a lot of ways I feel that I am saving myself a lot of aggravation and stress from checking and checking and checking for something that really isn't going to tell me a whole lot that the doctor won't tell me. 

By not obsessing over the numbers in my results, I find that I am happier and can just carry on with life and that's working out for me. If you find that you are poring through mounds of data and not really making a difference in your treatment or causing your condition to improve, maybe it's just time to stop and use those moments to enjoy something you love instead of trying to do your doctor's job. Go out and LIVE!

I guess that's all I have to say about that.