"I need to be strong... like you!"

Once again, I know this isn't entirely cancer-related, but it's still my blog and I can do what I want. 

I'm currently attending to the needs of my ageing parents and the other evening, I got to spend some quality time in the ER with my mother after she fell on her knee. My mother is fine and she's had no lasting issues since the hospital visit. It was, however, yet one more incident that caused me to think about mom's safety and well-being because she is living on her own.

As we passed time while we waited for x-rays and lab results to come back, we had a brief conversation about maybe looking at some alternative housing options for her. I was quite pleased that she was receptive to this because this conversation isn't one that I feel any of us want to have with our parents. Or anyone, really. The reason she was okay with this was because she knew this wasn't solely about her. She didn't want me to constantly be worried about her. 

Mom was, however, appropriately worried about herself and I said as I always say, "everything is going to be fine no matter what happens."

Mom replied, "I need to be strong... like you!" She was, of course, referring to the joy and resilience I've exhibited through my adventures in Multiple Myeloma. 

The weird thing about this is that when your parent looks to you as an example of how they should be, you don't expect it. It comes from left field and you instantly think, "no, that isn't right. I don't know anything about anything because I'm just your kid."

After I got past that internally uncomfortable moment, I thought to myself, "I'm only strong because that's what you taught me to be."

My mother gave up her life in Japan and came to the United States. She became a citizen and made her life here. When my father filed for divorce and at one point changed his mind, she stayed strong in her resolve to follow through. When faced with a crisis, my mother remained calm, formulated a plan and executed it. 

A prime example of my mother's general "bad-assery" was illustrated in a story about a date that she was on. A boy on a motorcycle picked mom up from her university in Tokyo and the two of them headed for wherever they were going. Since my mother was fully aware of where they were supposed to be going, she questioned the route he was taking. As he started to head away from the city, she demanded that he stop and let her off, saying the date was effectively now over. He kept driving. Since he refused to stop, my did the only thing she could do... she jumped off the motorcycle, rolled into a soft ditch and ran back to where she could catch a bus back to school. She had no fear. 

I could go on and on with these stories mom told me, but I think you get the picture. I am my mother's child. I have no fear and no fucks and I hope that I stay that way. I have no child to pass these things on to, so I am passing them on to you, whoever you are, dear reader. And one day, if the time should come, I hope to be strong... like you.

Thanks and loads of love, mom.