For my buddy Mark and his amazing wife, Dawn...

I swear to God... I'm sat here in bed writing yet another remembrance for yet another beloved friend. How did life come to this? This year, I've lost as many friends, family members, and the child of a friend as there are months. I'm not old enough to have this many people leaving the planet at this ridiculous rate. But I digress... I'm not here to bitch about these successive losses, but rather to tell you about someone who was an absolute inspiration. So get ready...

You know that scene in Terminator2: Judgment Day where the liquid metal T-1000 gets shot over and over but never gets taken down? That's my friend, Mark. 

I met Mark and his wife, Dawn at a blood cancer symposium at a local hotel. I was clearly looking lost and trying to find a place to sit, so Dawn invited me to sit at their table. As we got to know each other, it was revealed that Mark also had Multiple Myeloma and had been through quite a lot. My hair was trying to grow back in after my stem cell transplant, so that was a gateway topic for us to get to know each other. Mark had his SCT a couple years earlier and it hadn't gone as smoothly as mine. As a matter of fact, he nearly died due to a terrible infection and a particularly difficult recovery that followed. But that afternoon, the three of us chatted and learned about emerging treatments from the presenters and really had a great time. 

It was evident to me by the time the event broke up at the end of the day that Mark and Dawn were a total team. There was so much love and support between them and it was nice to see that. It was also obvious that I had been invited into their magical world and that we would be friends from here on out.

I really got to know Mark and Dawn at a local Myeloma support group to which they'd invited me when we were at the symposium. Both of them were very active in the group and in the local blood cancer community, I learned a lot about my new life from them. Mark was quiet and Dawn was the talker, but both had a sense of humour about the thing that brought us all together. Through them, I also became active with Light the Night, the annual Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's gathering and fundraiser. They not only did they walk, but they also volunteered at the one in Akron and sometimes at the one in Cleveland. Mark always made it a point to attend these---even if he'd just gotten out of the hospital for something serious. He'd show up in his wheelchair and hold court. Everyone knew Mark because he was so soft-spoken, kind and was also a complete cancer-thriving badass.

Not long after I met this dynamic duo, Mark began to have issues with his kidneys. Because of this, he needed daily dialysis. This required Dawn to learn how to perform this procedure from A to Z. And she did because that's who she is. The next few years saw Mark heading to the hospital and being admitted to ICU for recurring bouts of sepsis. It was never clear why he was so prone to it, but Mark's doctor, who also happens to be mine, thought it might've been because of one of the chemo meds he'd taken for a period of time. They took him off of this infusion and despite all of the issues with sepsis, Mark stayed in remission. 

Mark eventually began to have issues with his lungs and was admitted to ICU for recurring bouts of pneumonia. Even though he was pretty much getting pummeled by everything, he managed to keep thriving and Dawn retained her optimism and warmth. 

I saw Mark at our last group meeting back in February of this year. He was experiencing some issues with his foot. The circulation in it was poor, the toes had started to turn black and it was painful for him to walk, much less move it. Dawn and I stayed in touch after the pandemic hit and our group was no longer able to meet. She kept me in the loop with updates on Mark's foot and his visits to ICU. They were struggling with when the orthopedic surgeon would remove Mark's foot and then lower leg and then foot for a few months. Mark's health took another turn at the end of February and he was back with his friends in ICU. He stayed in hospital for a stretch and was moved to a rehab facility. He eventually returned home and things were okay for a little while until Mark got seriously ill again around the middle of May, which was when he ended up having a partial amputation of his foot. They did this as an outpatient procedure, which Dawn and I agreed was absolutely bonkers. Proving this was indeed absolutely bonkers, Mark fell ill a few days later and was admitted to ICU and had the rest of his foot removed. 

Mark was healing and started feeling a little better at the end of June. Dawn informed me that his other foot was starting to show signs of discolouration and didn't know what that would bring. They were back on a wait and see since the pandemic continued to make life challenging. This evening, I received a text from Dawn. She said that Mark was really sick and admitted into ICU on Thursday. He passed away today.

It doesn't seem possible that he's gone because every time life knocked him down, he got back up, rolled up his sleeves, and kept going. I don't know how he did it, but I admired him for it. I don't know if I could do the same thing if I were faced with the same ore hauler of challenges. I really don't. I'm sure a lot of what kept him going was his relationship with his wonderful wife and his amazing kids. I think that makes a big difference. You keep fighting because you have something to live for. 

Because of my friend, I have something to live for.

Thank you, Mark, for being such an incredible and strong human and for being an example of what it means to tackle life and live it on your own terms. You were amazing. You will be missed.

Dawn and Mark flanked by two friends.