writing the thing I didn't want to write...

I've been putting off the thing I didn't want to write. It's not too terrible by any stretch and neither is it particularly good. I haven't done any creative writing (my fanfiction) in two months. It's been difficult to get excited feel inspired about the things I love, I haven't even picked up a pencil or a pen an sketched anything. Music and films I enjoy make me tired and disinterested, so it's been fine.

I still have a numb chin and lower lip. I've even bitten the lip about six times, so that's been adding to the fun. On top of that, the numb lower lip gets a strong burning sensation. Also fun. I've got localised headaches and they feel like they are stabbing my head. I have been taken off all my chemo meds for the time being because I have been plagued with low white and red blood counts. Because of this, they are giving me platelets and hemoglobin, but nothing seems to stick. Due to this situation, Dr. V. and Nurse Janice want to get me a med called Eltrombopag. The hope is that it will boost my white and Red Blood cell counts. Of course, this all depends on whether or not insurance plays nice and approves it.

To top all this off, Lou has brought me two colds in the last two weeks, Blood is pooling in my nostrils (and I kinda need that blood). When I blow my nose every couple of hours, there emerges a thick cake of dried blood, attached to a long gelatinous "worm" of blood. How this occurs, I have no idea, but it's still rather disgusting and like I mentioned before: "I need this blood!"  

 

Between all this, pain continues to flair up in my lower back and legs. There are also sensations in my muscles that also feel like stabbing or sometimes cramping. The weird part is that they also tickle as if to say "we threw that in for good measure so you wouldn't think that last one wasn't so bad." Unfortunately, the tickles don't help and they only aggravate the sensations.

 

So, yeah, that's where I am these days. I don't know when or if things will get any better, I hope they do. I wanted to keep this short and sweet, so I should close now. Please feel free to shoot me a message if you have any questions.