By What Strange Hand in the Universe...?

By what strange hand in the universe pointed at me and said, "this is the life we are giving to this little soul destined for planet Earth?" I was born in Cleveland, Ohio in August 1967 to Dale and Sumiko Hopkins. Being raised in a home with a mixed history of religions (Dad: Quaker/Christian/Jewish in 1991 / Mom: Shinto/Buddhist/Catholic/Christian) and multiracial backgrounds (Dad: Celtic-American and Mom: Japanese-American) and experiences, I was primed to enter the world knowing maybe a little bit more about a level playing field that was deserved for all people. Sure, there were the racial colloquialisms occasionally tossed about by my dad, learned from his days in the Army, but he made sure to slowly erase that habit and tell me not to say such things. My mother would take me to the mall for walks and we'd see other mothers and families with their children. She would say, "Those people are from India or Pakistan. Those people are Black. Those people are from South America or Mexico." She was showing me how the world was filled with these beautiful and wonderful people. 

By the time I was ready for school, I was ready to meet these people and become friends. Instead, I found myself with the rug pulled out from under me and I met the faces and hearts of racism. I was excluded from activities by both the children and the teaching staff. I was too ashamed to tell my parents about this until later in life. This made my mother cry. School years completed and I was able to go off and find that world I was raised to live in.

So I did. I came out and entered the LGBTQIA+ world and took my first trip to New York City in 1990. Yes, these were my people, a cornucopia of light and dark faces, accents of every delicious flavor, and a whole lot to catch up on. I got to live in this wonderful rainbow from the age of 18 and am still living in it.

I met my husband in 2003 and that was a truly life-defining moment to me. He, too, lived in the same world and so we combined them, eventually marrying in 2016. Just in advance of that in 2014, I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. My variety is hard to treat and in October 2020 things truly began to go wrong. I have gone in and out of remission within a two months and when you've been this level of sick, you know when things are falling apart and I knew they were falling apart, and fast. 

My last bone marrow biopsy indicated that my marrow was pumping out more cancer cells than good ones. I was whisked away to the hospital to basically recitfy the situation to taking me from being one of the walking dead to the person you've come to know. I've had some good days and some all-sleepin' days while I have been at the Cleveland Clinic. But, if the outwardly observable changes are any indication of the work the meds are doing inside, I should be doing OK in a month or so. Fingers crossed.

And one more thing about that cosmic hand: how did it select Lou to be the caregiver for his father's and mother's cancer and now mine? That seems like a bit to dole out on a person and a bit unfair. Still, I am blessed that we have each other and all of of the support of family and friends old and new.

We should make it maybe because of or in spite of that mysterious hand.

Love to you all.